2016

🌿 A Letter to My Daughters — To Be Read When You Are Grown

My dear girls,
My sweethearts,
My little angels…

Tonight, after I tucked you into bed, I sat down to write this letter to the future you — to the young women you will one day become.

İpek, today you had a homework assignment. Your teacher asked you to explain why we came to Australia. At first, you wanted to write:
“There is a lot of graffiti and swearing in Turkey.”
I reacted too quickly and told you not to write that. Later, I felt upset with myself — clearly I haven’t explained our story well enough.

We came here so you could grow up in a place that is safe, clean, peaceful; so you could receive a strong education and learn English well.
I worry that when you read this someday, your Turkish may feel distant — your English grows stronger every day, while Turkish slips away little by little.

Life with you two is a mix of sunshine and storms. We have wonderful days and difficult ones.
Most of our conflicts come from iPad time.
All Baba and I want is for you to spend more time outdoors — riding your bike in front of the house, playing imaginative games by the door.

You get along well with the neighbor girls. Some days you play together for hours; other days the younger one becomes a bit bossy and hurts your feelings.

İpek, you love being a leader. You want people to do what you say, and you love being the center of attention.
But my girl, real leadership is not about making others obey you — it is about negotiating, finding common ground, and guiding people with kindness, not force.
I hope that when you grow older, you will see compromise not as losing, but as progress — a step forward.

Today at Lego Club, Ava complained to me about something. When I asked you to apologize, you refused.
Please remember this, my love:

Do not be afraid to apologize.
If you have made a mistake, do not run from it.
Do not feel ashamed.
Only brave hearts can say “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so the rest stayed inside me.
I don’t want to be the kind of mother who nags, but my deepest wish in this world is to raise you both into good, kind, thoughtful human beings.

I don’t know what our future in this country will look like — what values I will succeed in teaching you and which ones may fade. But please, my girl:

Always talk to yourself.
Even if the voice inside you is faint, listen to it.
Question yourself.
Reflect.
Always examine your actions.

It gives me so much comfort that you love to read.
People who love books rarely become lost.

And finally…
In this enormous, unpredictable world, I hope you never search for happiness in another person or in objects.
May you always carry happiness inside your own heart.

I love you more than words can hold.

Always,
Mom